Wednesday, 7 October 2015

My tattoo stories

So I've mentioned my tattoos and shown them briefly on my channel before but I don't think I've ever talked about why I got each of them and the meaning of them to me. Some people have no interest in tattoos, but these actually explain a little bit about me and so I thought I'd tell the story of my tattoos....
Ruby(Left wrist)
 As Ruby was dying, we would lie together out in the garden me crying, her comforting me, me comforting her as she was so poorly. I promised her she wouldn't be alone and I would join her. I also promised her that I would get a tattoo. I talked to her about it, I don't even know where it came from as I'd never been a fan of tattoos (I'm still unsure about massively coloured tattoos I prefer black or white) but I knew I had to keep that promise and the day after she died I went to the nearest tattoo shop, I was obviously feeling very raw and emotional and impulsive, to me I had to get it done to honour her. I'd let her done by her dying so keeping this promise meant a lot to me. I had a design in mind, an R with a heart, as she's in my heart, stars as she's in the stars and the shadows around them as she was my little shadow. Fun fact, the font for the R is the coca cola font, what can I say it was swirly and pretty and I fell in love with it. It was also the place I used to self harm the most and I promised I'd never self harm on it or around it and although I have self harmed on that arm, I've kept my promise by not touching the area around my tattoo.

Te Amo Ad Lunam Et Retorsum(right just above my ankle outer calf)
Note to self, getting a tattoo when sunburnt=bad idea.
My next tattoo I knew I wanted something for my nieces and something I always say to Lily is I love you to the moon and back (one of her birthday presents was an illustrated book I made with a song that ended with it) When she was over we looked on google images and I asked her to choose, bear in mind she was 3 at the time so I could have ended up with Peppa pig if she'd have changed her mind, but she chose this which is a moon and heart and around the outside it says Te Amo Ad Lunam Et Retorsum (I love you to the moon and back in Latin).
Mid tattoo

I went to the same guy who did my ruby tattoo as he'd done what I'd wanted but just as he started to do it I saw he'd made a spelling mistake... now that could have been awkward. Luckily I corrected it (I had given him the correct spelling on a piece of paper, but it IS hard directly copying from what's right in front of you). Whilst this tattoo means a lot to me and I don't regret getting it done it's the only one I'm not happy with as it's faded in parts and if I could I would have something more artistic and swirly and more in line with my newer tattoos.

The pocket watch of eternal doom (right inner forearm)
My clock age 30 seconds
This was my biggest piece, at the time and it has a few meanings depending on who I tell and how mental I'm going to come across. I wanted a handless clock to symbolise time being meaningless and a life sentence, I later found out in prison handless clocks actually do represent someone serving a life sentence. Get me, down with the prison tattoo lingo. This was the first one done by the guy who's done all of the rest of my tattoos and I love his work, as you'll see I've tried to link them together with the style by keeping (my right arm) floaty/mystical with the same brush style lines.
My Diamond (right wrist)
The next two I got at the same time I wanted something else for the girls and was toying with a princess crown  but I'd always wanted a diamond as mine and Lilys song is Diamond by Rihanna, there's nothing cuter than a then 3 year old singing in a Bajan accent "shiny breet like a dieeemond" but I'd never seen a design I liked they all looked so tacky. However with my newfound trust in Alex and a picture of something I quite liked he created this which I LOVE. It's got the shading in it which gives it a prismatic effect.

Elephants never forget (left inner forearm)
The other one I got is less positive. There were things going on that we're making me even more unhappy than usual. Something that had been on my mind a lot that hurt me I couldn't get out of my mind was torturing me more than usual. I wrote a song about it on my album 'ghost' (track 10 top left corner) the song is about how I feel invisible, like people don't notice me or worse, ignore me even when I'm in the room. Like I'm a ghost. I could basically be a pink elephant in the room and no one would notice. That's what the line is "no one will talk to me or even look my way, I could turn into a pink elephant or even float away". Something triggered me off and just like when I self harm when someone upsets me I take it out on myself I thought, fuck it Charlotte, you are the pink elephant don't ever forget it you are alone no one gives a fuck don't ever forget... If anyone asks I just say I wanted something to remind me of my album. Yeah.... Right. I do feel kind of sorry for him though as he's got a pink bum so it looks like he's got piles. I gave my elephant eternal haemorrhoids. Poor git.

"How does a sunbeam learn to cry" (right upper arm)
The first time I ever performed on stage was as the naughty sunbeam in my Christmas school play and as a homage to the role (and name) that has followed me through life I thought I would get this beauty, and beauty she is. The beads on the bottom match the beads on my watch. In my head inside the bigger pendant bead in the middle of the sunbeams necklace is what houses the watch. Yes I have ACTUAL stories about my tattoos , although my 3 year old niece Chloe seems to think my watch tattoo represents the fact that "I've killed the crocodile from Captain Hook and stolen the watch" (she's an amazing storyteller). I draw the line at talking to them, I definitely did NOT apologise to my diamond just after I'd had it done when I knocked it "Oh I'm sorry please don't break". Yeah. That's me.

Would I get any more? HELL YES. I have always wanted one on my hand/finger. I've made no secret of how I feel no one listens to me and how alone I feel, and similarly to the pink elephant I have an idea for something I want on my finger, however finding someone to do it is hard as finger tattoos fade and tattooists are reluctant to do them. Alex if you ever happen to read this I will buy you copious amounts of weird and wonderful tea if you agree to do a finger tattoo for me:) For my arm I am undecided, it has a theme so would have to fit in with that, I have a few ideas and would love to have my forearm more filled up. I get a lot of inspiration from my favourite tattoo artist on Instagram (check him out here). Him and his teams work is beautiful and inspiring.

What are your thoughts on tattoos, do you like them, do you have any? I'd love to hear your stories!

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Nail of the day- Pushing my OCD out of its comfort zone by having different colours and textures on my nails, my nails were one of my first rituals I developed at school, I'd constantly touch each individual nail for hours on end making sure they all felt equal then pull then skin back underneath the nail. Hours and hours on end as they never felt 'right'. This was a reason I never painted my nails, until about 2 years ago. Whilst I no longer have this ritual so long as I don't think consciously about it I'm ok. Right now writing about it I feel an urge to touch them. Hence why having different colours and textures is difficult. The thumb is actually dark navy but looks black.

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