Wednesday, 30 December 2015

7 days-7 pictures

This is possibly my new favourite toy... and will probably feature a lot in my blogs and on my (soon to be starting again as soon as I get my new laptop sorted) youtube channel.  I think this phrase pretty much sums up my state of mind right now....

I love it when the weather matches my mood. I got some chalkboard pens that also draw on surfaces such as glass so have been having an awesome amount of fun writing lengthy tomes and ..... ok so I've mostly been drawing cubes, smiley faces and dicks. what can I say I'm a child. And WTF is with this weather. If I've got to go through the stress and shit of Christmas and all that jazz can we at least have the nice pretty sparkly cold frosty shit that is SUPPOSED to come with it?

Yes I left my 4 walls and whilst waiting in the car for mum to take my wheelchair back I expressed my absolute joy at being in the outside world. I've got to admit I'm in LOVE with my coat, I've not had a winter coat for years. This is hugely oversize, as I'm not a fan of layering and feeling all my clothes tugging on each other and I realised as I put it on that that its just like the coat Marv wears in Home Alone, so its Thus been named my Marv coat.

self-explanatory. sad. how I look most days wouldn't be honest if I didn't document it.

Throwback to when my favourite little person was here a few weeks ago, she is my sunshine, my heartbeat, my mini me, my little everything. She was so hyper that night and she was just an absolute joy the whole weekend. A little piece of my heart breaks when she leaves.

....However she wrote a message on my mirror. For what are mirrors for, if not for writing on. I couldnt get a very good picture as A its a mirror and taking a picture of a mirror you encounter all sorts of difficulties, B my mirror is shall we say... somewhat dirty neglected. So trying to find an angle that didnt show up all the dirt  neglect and showed off the beautiful unprompted message from my beloved Lily was somewhat tricky. In case you cant tell its a sun and says you are my sunshine, as for her birthday I bought her a plaque for her wall saying the very same.

And so it begins again. My first day with my brand spanking new bionic brace. Its so bionic and magical it FUCKING SPARKLES. Yes, another fucking brace. And my most expensive to date. This is the one I've coveted since I left hospital but at £180 I couldn't afford it, however, I happened to chance upon it on a medical supplies website for £79.99, considerably cheaper, not cheap enough to buy one for both feet but still! I chose a favourite foot... Ok, not quite, I have a foot that is worst and that I can't use my current custom made ones as they have caused a hematoma and fibroma on the left one so I can't wear them on that one anymore, not for any length of time anyway. But this brace is fantastic for several reasons as its convertible so can be a short ankle brace or for more support the top bit comes on and off, the bottom is hinged allowing only forwards and backwards movements and as this isn't a movement I can do myself manually but I can move side to side slightly I'm hoping that  just by trying to move my foot in the brace as the only movement it will allow is a movement i can't make, it will build up muscle in that area so although I won't be able to do that movement manually my foot will be stronger. Also Its thin enough to be able to wear shoes! Yes MOTHERFUCKING SHOES! Ok, so most of the reason I can't wear shoes is the pain it causes but even thing like my converse trainers I couldn't get my old braces into. Its comfortable as well! Well, as comfortable as a piece of hinged plastic contorting an atrophed and contractured foot with permanenetly electrocuting nerves can be. The only downside is I want one for my other foot but I don't have enough money:( I'm not going to say anthing about the fact that I shouldn't have to buy my own orthotics and that Ive wasted hundreds of pounds on them when they should have been provided by the hospital who were supposed to get my walking and correct my feet but in actual fact left my unable to walk even further and refused to offer my any further help and traumatised me, refused to let me access help I needed for current medical conditions, tried to drug me so they could say they had reached their target and discharge me. didnt notice i didnt eat the entire 6 weeks I was under their care and callled me fat. Not gonna say anything at all.
Ps sorry this is a bit shit at the moment I wont repeat myself and say how shit I feel. But I do, I had some really shitty news that added to my already rocky mental state. I'll be back to my usual fucked up but slightly less morose self soon xxx

1 comment :

  1. Happy new year hope you have a good new year xxoos