Wednesday, 6 January 2016

2015- The Shits and The Sparkles

2016 and they STILL haven't invented hoverboards? I am dictating this to my computer which is fantastic technology even if it doesn't acknowledge when I'm really ducking angry. ducking isn't even a word. But still no hoverboards? or a medical professional that believes mental illness isn't a choice.....

I have posts queued up ready to go but I thought I'd do something fresh for you as I've done a few very morose depressing ones in a row....
2015 was a pretty shit year, particularly the last few weeks as I had some bad news, which I may or may not go into in this post depending on how ranty it gets. But I wanted to share with you a few of my favourite and least favourite things such as, well physical things, moments, Tv shows, music, just general random crap....Some of it you will have heard before but hey, one my many specialities is talking random shit... I will try and not repeat myself..... however this is somewhat hard to do as I struggle to remember anything past last week.

Favourite TV Show *obviously spoilers if you're not up to date*
Need I mention Once upon a Time... Yes, of course, its a favourite because it's my favourite show, although I've got to say that 5A was a slight let down for me partly because of Meridas presence and that whole storyline. I felt like it was a distraction and held no real relevance to what else was going on, a filler I guess. Plus she irritated the hell out of me, not as much as Zelena who is quite possibly the most irritating tv character of all time, you're not wicked love, you're just plain fucking annoying.
Thank God she spent half the season mute. I think I was a little disappointed as it was the first time I've had to watch it in real time, so waiting a week in between every episode. I REALLY want to rewatch it again now I can binge watch it. I think 5B will be KILLER and I loved the conclusion. Did anyone else watch it and what did you think of the whole build up and conclusion?
My other favourites/new discoveries have been True Blood, although I've not finished and caught up yet, I literally binge watched for weeks so much so that I've decided Sookie (suckie, soooooooooookie, Sukeh, I could say this name for hours on end without getting bored) is one of the names on my puppy list *puppy dog eyes to mum as I know she's reading this* Where I left off Bill was being a complete shitbag and I need to pick it up again, although my laptop wasn't working for any links hence why I had to stop. I'm also in love with the theme tune, so much so it's my ringtone.... Bones- I don't know why I've not watched this before? Having been a fan of David Boreanaz in Buffy and Angel and it's exactly the type of show that I would like, I'm almost up to date with it as I started it in about October/November and watch a couple of episodes a day. I wouldn't rate it as a favourite show of all time but for this year, it's kept me pretty amused. I can relate to both main characters in different ways, Brennan has a simplistic and innocent way of saying whats on her mind. She doesn't understand when people don't understand basic logic which is something that I struggle with and can definitely relate to. The Mentalist-How bad is it that it took me a while to work out if its this year that I watched this... All the years just blur into one. But this is up there with one of my favourite shows of all time so I had to include this in my 2015 favourites

Least Favourite TV Show I'll be honest has Homeland been the same since Brody died? Why WHY do that. I mean if you have to kill off the main character you need to end the show, it's not been the same since then. Damien Lewis and Claire Danes relationship was the show, yes ok terrorism etc.... but it was their interaction with each other not necessarily the romantic element, just their characters together and Brody as a character that I love. That's like killing off Jack Bauer and trying to continue 24, which technically they did but he's jack Bauer he never dies, DAMMIT. it wouldn't work. and for me, it hadn't. Well not in the same way. It's been enjoyable enough to watch (at a push) but it's not the same show. Which is a shame as I love it and it filled the 24 shaped hole that erm 24 left. Another of my let downs for 2015 was a show that was up there with my previous favourites, The Following. Last year saw it come to an end and if you've not seen it I'll try not to spoil it for you.... except to say IT WAS SHIT. Th final series saw Joe Carroll incarcerated for his crimes and much like Homelands formula worked because of Brody and Carries relationship, The Following worked because of the relationship between Joe and Ryan Hardy. Yes Joe was still involved for MOST of the season (note I said most of the season, not all, spoiler alert) but why the hell would you kill off the guy who has half carried the show a few episodes before the series ended for good!! Not even letting his character have any part to play in the whole of the season and the shows finale? It sucked arse to me and much as I loved the show, they should have ended it on a high when Joe 'died' the first time. The last season was lacklustre as it no longer had what relied on to keep the show alive which was the chemistry from the fucking outstanding James Purefoy and Kevin Bacon. Joe Carroll deserved a better exit than he got. Meh. The only highlight was the outstanding scene with the song by Aurora, I guess more better known as 'her off the John Lewis advert' now. But There was a scene towards the very end with her song Runaway which is just a truly beautiful and captivating song and I urge you to listen to it.

Favourite sentimental piece of artwork/greeting card/memento given to me by a child age 6
Now this was tough, It was a close call between the snail shell that Lily gave me back in the summer that I promised to look after forever and ever and ever or the card she made me for Christmas.... Seeing as I couldn't find the snail shell, I must have tucked him away somewhere really, really cosy, like a bin 2 weeks after she gave him to me, I tried Lily I really did... But........ It was a dead snail. The card won by default but everything Lily gives me is my favourite thing anyway and I keep (hence my initial reluctance to throw away the snail). In case you can't read it, the front says to my gorgeous friend and the inside says happy birthday, (because my birthday is next apparently) and the picture is Me and Lily and pugs obviously as it so says, and then it says To auntie Charlotte I love you so much Love Lily

Least favourite decision regarding my hair 
again a tough choice, do I regret more going dying my hair purple thus starting the chain of events that turned my hair green or do I regret the initial full head bleach in the first place..... Someones shat on my head after eating half a tonne of mustard or am little pony unicorn hybrid has puked on my scalp, how do I decide which is worse? Let's just say they were joint winners, or losers and being back to black/dark brown means the decision to make any more stupid decisions has been taken out of my hands.

Hero of 2015
To be honest, there was no contest here, putting up with a 10 minute ramble, refusal to open my mouth, demand that they look at my chipped tooth and chipped tooth alone, if they could in fact identify a chipped tooth or maybe they were just shit at their job. I was nervous, terrified in fact. You'd think that chipping my tooth on FUCKING CHEWING GUM might help curb my chewing gum addiction, sadly I'm still on a pack a day.....
PS for future reference permission to get a puppy would probably get you in the running for hero of 2016

Fucktard of 2016
I've been an absolute wanker this year. Particularly from September onwards. My mental health and eating disorder have spiralled, habits have gotten out of control and I'm trying really hard to stop the habits before trying to get the eating side on track but the habits are proving hard to stop. I'm a dick. An absolute dick.

Favourite Film of 2015
I know I've watched films this year. Many many films... Turns out I can't remember a single fucking one. Except Elf last weekend with Lily which I hated, yes I'm probably the only person in the world who hates Elf. So as I can't remember any of the films I've watched I thought I'd write the list* of my ever increasing To watch Films that I keep on my phone, which I am determined to actually make a dent in-Legend, Pan, Spotlight, The Intern, Black Mass, Mr Holmes, Dark Places, True Story, The Stanford Prison Experiment, Survivor, Tomorrow Land, The Boy Next Door, Paddington, The Box
*of ones that are not going to make lose  respect and credibility and make people finally be able to answer the question, does Charlotte have any marbles left?

Worst Film of 2015
I do remember watching one film. Partly because I sat there for the entire 90 minutes wondering why the fuck I was putting my brain through this pretentious teenage wanky torture. Papertowns. Was there actually a storyline? A beginning middle end. Maybe I fell asleep and actually missed the bit in the film where something ACTUALLY happened.....

Least favourite government body
Congratulations to The DVLA for winning this title. I mentioned about my decision to try and get an adapted car.... Well, Its been a lengthy and stressful process and in the same week shortly before Christmas I found out I was successful in getting a full grant for the car, YAY but received a separated letter from the DVLA saying I was not fit to drive, Fuckers.... Currently waiting on a letter to find out the result of this appeal so by the time this is uploaded I may well have to change
i mean this whole situation could be a verse in a certain Alanis Morrisette song....

"There was girl called charlotte whose feet were a bit dead
she got a grant for a car, the full go ahead
but her Dr wrote a letter saying her brain was a bit fucked
so the DVLA said her licence had to be chucked
Isn't it ironic, don't ya think"

Obviously, I have to give an honourable mention to the NHS, in particular, the medical professionals I've encountered who've fucked me over the year, this one for you
Favourite Book
Sadly my brain makes reading book reading difficult, although if the DVLA are reading this that's got nothing to do with with my ability to drive and if my neurologist is reading this my making a statement like this does not mean you have the right to say "oh Charlottes brains fucked..... K?" sorry off track there... anyway I've not actually read a book this year and that's probably the first year I haven't, shock horror, however I have read cover to cover the manual on "what to do when your GP is a wanker and you're failed by every medical professional you come across" I can highly recommend it. Turns out what you should do is shit on their car* I might have also written the manual
*I do no actually recommend shitting on anyones car
unless they're a complete cunt

Song of 2015
Oh come on if you know me at all by now you know that I'm like the biggest Justin Bieber fan like ever...... even writing that I threw up a little bit in my mouth. I'm sure JB released some Fine music this year....
Oh ok then. Can't argue with that....
As I don't really listen to the radio much, I used to in the car, most new music is music that I discover myself, so I don't really know what's newly released. But one album I've talked about that was released this year was the We Love Disney album and by far the best song on their and my song of 2015 is by far Neyos cover of Friend like me, I've talked about it before in a blog post but this song is literally happiness in music form. the song was already a smorgasbord of everything you need to MAKE the Disney song, updated for 2015 managing to change it enough to put his own spin on it, but without taking away anything we love about the classic sound, its jazz hands and finger clicks in a song. LITERALLY. If you can sit through this and not nod your head and snap your fingers, there's something wrong with you. I love that jazz era, that brass sound, ERGHHHHHH I NEED a microphone like this please. I would also have to put Adele Million years ago up there as one of my favourite songs, the lyrics and guitar are simply exquisite.

Gadget of  2015    
Well, it would be my new laptop had I have got it set up in time but as it's not I've had to go with my phone. My contract expired a while ago so I could upgrade so got a 5S which means that I now have the fingerprint recognition technology, whilst not hoverboard it does make me feel kind like a member of the FBI every time I put my thumb on the home button and it scans it and opens my phone.plus it looks like this!
It keeps me amused when I'm bored (the actual phone, not just the fingerprint recognition, I don't just spend hours scanning my thumb. No. what idiot would do that.....)  and whilst we used to have a love hate relationship as I hated the fact that it was so quiet, it's been, shall we say less quiet recently and that makes me smile:) I like smiling:) Although if I carry on on this one woman mission to obliterate all of my teeth that I've been on since late 2012 I will soon have no teeth left. JUST LIKE MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN PREDICTING ALL MY LIFE
professionalism at its finest

Website of 2015
Blogspot/youtube I'm not gonna get all gushy except I fucking am. I really fucking love my blog and I love every single one of you who reads it. If you've read one post or every post, if you've watched one of my videos or every single one I LOVE you and thank you for your support. you fucking rock. Unless you watched my videos to post something shitty in which case I hope you get herpes.

Least favourite website
Ok technically it's an app I guess but it would have to be Instagram. I've gone on about my opinions before on people with mental illness using Instagram to document their 'recovery' so I don't need to do it again. But if you have an eating disorder taking photos of every fucking morsel you eat, following people who do the same, taking photos of your body and only following people who do the same is only keeping yourself entrenched in the ED. Even if not consciously you are always making comparisons with both food and body photos. And let's get real, the before and after photos are only  EVER so the sufferer can say look, see IM skinny too! I may have put on weight now but I please validate the fact that I was ill enough to justify eating. Instagrams recovery accounts have garnered some media coverage recently, positive it would seem, but for every level headed teenager who may get some use out of an account for a year or so there are hundreds of thousands of accounts, teenagers, younger than teenagers, who are at risk, of both being subjected to information they would not have available to them without Instagram, but also the information and photos that are putting them in danger of paedophiles. 11 year olds posting body shots in underwear. THIS NEEDS TO BE STOPPED.

Do I have any resolutions? I don't believe in resolutions, I could launch into a big rant on my beliefs on this and why if you're going to wait for a new year, week a Monday to make a change that you feel you need to make in your life then you're probably going to fail as if you've been putting. I am however making promises to myself. one of which I've failed already. probably because it resembled a resolution too much but let's just say for the sake of non failure I was running on the time of the Phoenix Islands who are 12 hours BEHIND the UK thus 2016 hadn't yet started. As soon as I can get my new laptop up and running I will be making a video on this because hey, who hasn't missed me ranting about random shit.... absolutely noone
And on that note I hope your 2015 contained both more sparkles than shits, or like me sometimes sparkly shits.
sparkly shit.... or Sunnyside
 bath bomb from Lush

Nail of the Day
It's back, I've got to be honest, I've had these on for a fair few days and for someone who paints their nails every day, every other day at a push, these are holding up quite well. I've no idea what the pattern is, nor do I care I just needed something to go over a white coat, which if you're interested is one of my favourite colours as a plain nail. It easy to clean up and reminds me of tip ex nails. Because we should all get our beauty inspiration from stationary implements shouldn't we Charlotte....


  1. I hope you can drive that would be nice all goes well that's smart to appeal that should help I know you'll make your goals happen good luck charlotte xxoos

  2. Awsome blog too Awsome little video clips I have a pair of pants that say Justin Bieber on the back of them he has Awsome songs

    1. i cant say awesome is the first thing that srings to mind when i think of justin bieber.... as for justin bieber pants? on the back of someones arse is probably where he and his songs belong

  3. Oh for sure that's true my friends daughter gave me a bag of clothes those pants were in it I wear them once in a while if I'm walking or around the house. I also love the Lily's card that she did for you she a great little artist